A Poisonous Relationship
Are you one of those people who are trapped in a relationship that you can’t (for the life of you) figure out how you got into in the first place? Things started out well, you both were infatuated with each other, and spent ever waking moment together, finishing each others sentences, deeply in love. But for some reason, some time has passed and you don’t know what happened! You now feel that this person is far from Mr. or Mrs. Right, and you don’t know what on earth to do! Don’t panic. Let’s see if this is a poisonous relationship, or if you could just be getting paranoid. Ask yourself the following questions… but I really want you to spend some serious thought on each question, because at first, you may think these questions are you, but give it some thought before you go there!
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Are you unhappy with your relationship on a constant basis for an unusually long period of time?
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Do you feel like this person is trying to change you at your core (the most important things about you)?
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Do you remember being much happier in any previous relationships that lasted as long as the one you are in now?
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Is this person physically, verbally, or mentally abusive towards you?
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Do you constantly fantasize about being in a relationship with someone else (not sexually, but emotionally)?
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Do you make it a point to avoid your partner as much as you can?
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Do you feel an overwhelming concern for the future of your current relationship?
If you answered yes to a majority of these questions, (specifically the more serious ones) you may be the victim of a poisonous relationship. If this is the case, make it a point to take some time to think it all over. Consider all the pros and cons of this relationship, and if your dreams and plans for the future will work with your partners. Once you have taken time to think, communicate with your partner. Tell them the TRUTH! The trick is to try not to let it get into an argument and not to attack each other personally. Try not to use the word “you” in your sentences and use “we” or “I”. Hopefully, you both can reach a compromise about your relationship together, good or bad. Who knows, your partner may have felt the same too all of this time. The important thing is to simply figure out what you want to communicate, communicating it effectively, and hopefully coming up with a solution together. If you are in a poisonous relationship, I wish you the best of luck, and you can feel free to contact me via email at william@longislandexchange.com.
William Martinez
william@longislandexchange.com
March 03, 2006 4:28 PM Eastern
Advice Column
