Finally, The Light at the End of the Tunnel
I'm particularly concerned about one friend, who has gone straight off the road of journalistic rigor into the thorny underbrush of conspiracy theory. She now believes that neither candidate actually WANTS to win the election. "They're both trying NOT to win," she insists, "and I can prove it." I shake my head at this sort of crazy thinking. It's one thing for "Joe Six-Pack" to believe the gubbmint is having beer busts with aliens at Area 51, it's quite another for my cynical friends to start believing things slightly less rational than the notion that the Freemasons and the Trilateral Commission are the secret rules of the entire world. "Prove it!" I threw up my hands after one of her particularly long-winded rants. I actually used that line Anthony Hopkins delivered as Hannibal the Cannibal in "Silence of the Lambs". I leaned close to her face and breathed, "Thrill me with your acumen." My friend insists that McCain finally woke up to the fact that our economy is sliding down the toilet and decided he didn't want to deal with the cleanup. His attempt to throw the election? The theory is --and remember this is not MY theory-- that McCain picked Sarah Palin as a running mate to dork up his chances once and for all. I have a hard time arguing with that logic. Every time Palin opens her mouth, her credibility sinks deeper in the political quicksand. It won't be long before we start hearing about how Palin thinks the dinosaurs were tools of the Devil to trick scientists into believing in evolution, or how she thinks the war on drugs should be made just as important as the hunt for Bin Laden. Oh, wait, people actually think that's true. Even so, the Palin example pales in comparison to what I think is my friend's strongest argument. She believes Obama isn't too thrilled about winning either, and that both sides have taken to using the same tactics. Has anybody else noticed how both McCain AND Obama have been talking a lot about how we need to rescue the middle class? It sounds great, doesn't it? A big helping hand extended to the middle class to help get them out of this financial hellhole the whole country and maybe even the world finds itself in in the waning days of George W. "genius" Bush's infamous eight years. Apparently, in the minds of both Obama and McCain's speech writers, there are only two types left in America--the rich and the middle class. But what about the poor? Nobody's mentioned them at all...it's as if they don't even count. Gas prices spiraling out of control? Food prices going up as a result? Banks on the verge or failure? Hey---those suburbanites need our help and how! But if you're eating government cheese, savor it, that's the full extend of the help you're going to get from McCain or Obama if their speeches are taken at face value. I hear you shouting out there, and enough already. I KNOW the candidates have made a few token speeches about healthcare and education. But when the global economy is on the verge of bringing us all into some deranged Mad Max-style existence (or so CNN would have us believe) nobody is talking about the poor or the hungry. All those poor, defenseless 401Ks on the other hand? We've got to SAVE THEM. I can't believe that a single high-profile reporter hasn't jumped on this like a rabid wolverine. But I suppose nobody cares about the poor right now. My friend's conspiracy theory is that both sides keep emphasizing the middle class in hopes some reporter WILL go nuts over this issue and dork up the campaign for SOMEBODY. "I think maybe Obama wants to lose LESS than McCain" she says, "so he'll get the job in the end. All McCain has to do to cinch this thing is to faint in public on the last Thursday before election day. He's gonna do it, just you wait!" I can't buy in to this kind of pipe dreaming, but I will say this...if McCain DOES go down, you read it here first. Joe Wallace E-mail This Page | Follow Us | Return to My Column You can Bookmark & Share this article by clicking here:
This article is an opinion piece which reflects the views of its author and does not necessarily reflect the views of the site itself, or the owners of Long Island Exchange.
For more information please view our terms of service.
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
With the election so close you can practically see the hanging chads, I think the madness of the race to the White House has finally gotten to some of my friends. I lost my mind ages ago so there's no use in whining about it here, but makes me sad to watch my fellow writers succumb to the mind-numbing barrage of campaign nonsense from both sides.
