a friend in love triangle

[jenvencop]

i have a friend who is married with one child, but the marriage isn't a happy one. my friend met up with his high school sweet heart and feelings were still there for them. what should my friend do?

[Clasione]

That is no easy question..... this depends greatly on what your friend finds to be happyness. Life is to short not to be happy, but many things must be weighed here....

Many people think they know what will make them happy and then find out later that if they only know how things would turn out, they would have thought differently.

When parents grow apart and divorce, in most cases it is devistating and life altering to the children involved...

Ofcource it is always best to work on your marriage and try to heal the wounds that have torn it apart, but sometimes what once was there is just gone forever, never to return...

Whatever you do, or your friend that is.... You must do what truelly makes you happy, if you know it is true in your heart, then you may have to run with it.....

Life aint always a walk in the park, but we make the best of it as we go, it's all we can do....

[jenvencop]

Thank you for your words, I'll be sure to tell my friend:)

[Senestro13]

honestly if you ... i mean if your 'friend' isn't happy in the marriage... then bail. they shoudl think of their happiness. there's no sence in staying in a relationship where no one is happy and staying for the kid.. that doens't cut it. the kid is young, you can still rasie your child in a 2 separated and nuturing house holds.

[jenvencop]

thank you, i totally agree.

[#1 achiever]

A very tough dilema, but not at all uncommon, at this time of super high divorce rates.

I would have to say that your friend needs to do some serious thinking and soul searching here. Now it is fair to say that we know nothing of what kind of relationship your friend and her current husband have, or why there marriage is in trouble, which makes it impossible for us to determine if there is any hope for them.

So, here is the deal. If your friend is being cheated on by her husband, she nees to leave. Marriage is hard enough without adding infedelity into it! If this is not the case;

Your friend first needs to search her feelings, and if she married this man for unconditional love, for better or worse, with the mindset that they will be happy for the rest of there lives, she needs to try and make it work by giving him 100% percent of herself. By communicating her needs, wants, feelings, and appreciation for him. Tell her to be as wonderful as she can with him. Tell her to give it her all, and see what happens. And if he doesn't respond at first, give him 150% more!!! If she tries to love him this way, then see what happens after a resonable period of time passes. If he really loves her, he will reciprocate that love, affection, communication, etc., and there relationship will be on the way to recovery.

If he doesn't, after all her effort, then she needs to find someone else that will make her happy. By loving him 100% (regardless of how upset she is at him) she is learning how a she should truely give herself in a marriage. Hopefully, he will catch on. But it has to start with one of them!! If he doesn't reciprocate, then she not only knows how to give in a relationship, but will know better how to find someone else that will love her the way she loves, that will love her the way she deserves.

I do not reccomend she try to find someone else while she is married. It is easy to find brand new love with anyone, but the key is to make that love last after the newness is gone. When things go wrong, it is always so much easier to look elsewhere to fix the problem, instead of looking at the problem itself! Try to fix the problem itself first!!

Give your friend luck for me, and if she needs someone to talk too, she can always contact me.

As far as the child is concerned, don't base your marriage on your child. Better your child be with a civilized divorced couple, than an unhappily married one. If you can work it out, great!! If not, try to make the split as civil as possible.