Im needing a little help....

[ToeFur]

Hi, Im a single guy living in Suffolk county. Im 30 years old and need a little help finding a place to meet girls here. Im single now for about a year and a half after being in a long term relationship (8years) that fell apart 2 months before our wedding date. My problem is I am very shy and dont really know how to approach women all that well. I work with alot of women profesionally I have no problem conversing with them but, If I am interested in them I get all flustered and shy. So, what Im asking is there any place around here that would make meeting a little bit easier?

[Clasione]

If I were you, I think your two best options are:

1 - Meeting someone in a club or bar atmosphere....

or

2 - Meeting someone online..

If you have atleast one or two friends that are single, then start getting them together and go out.... If you don't have any single friends - get some... :vibes:

30 is young, you've got plenty of time to mingle around a bit...

[jenvencop]

wow, i have a similiar story, about 3 years ago i broke up with my ex fiance. it takes time to get back into the dating scene, it took me over a year. I am a women though, so it might be different. but don't fret about it, let it happen to you. trust me, i'm 28 and still waiting.

[ToeFur]

Yea...I mean I knew it would take time but, not this long. Anyways...Im ready to move on. Like I said...sometimes Im a little too shy and it makes meeting new people hard for me.

[jenvencop]

have you tried dating services over the phone or online, i'm not saying their the best ways to meet someone but it's a start. you really do need to go out with friends and see what happens. also try simple places like the laundromat and the grocery store. see i like meeting people these ways because at a bar i usually have my beer googles on, lol.

[ToeFur]

I tried dating services......match.com to be exact. I had some interest but I didnt see anything that REALLY got my attention. One time I said hi to some cute girl in the Grocery store and she looked at me like I had 5 heads...lol. I said to myself..."thats why I dont say "hi" to random people" Another problem is at my age most of my friends are married and going on or have their 1st child. So....getting together with friends and going out just dosent happen as often as it used too.

[jenvencop]

I hear what your saying, you feel that you and your friends don't have the same things in common anymore. well get new friends, just kidding. I see what your saying about your going up to random people, but remember that people only see what you allow them to. If you are getting a negative reaction with your attempts, then step back and take a look at what went wrong. Did you ever hear the saying that it's not what you say, but how you say it. Maybe instead of saying hi, try an start a conversation about anything. Women for the most part (and this is my opinion) want to meet their night in shining armor(so to speak.) We women need reassurance all the time, so even the littlest things will grab our attention and melt us.

[ToeFur]

See...your helping me already....I need to know these things. Like what are the "little" things that grab YOUR attention?? I think I just need to get pointed in the right direction..ya know? I hear all the time from married women mostly " how are you single" or "theres no way your single" or "girls might be scared of you". I honestly dont think that I scare anyone but...you never know.

[Clasione]

Women read confidence extreamly well.... It's also very important for you to know who you are and what you have to offer and not feel like your the one looking for a handout....

Get her in a good mood,because your in a good mood... She'll smile if you smile...
Be confident in yourself.... Confidence is interesting, exciting, and attractive... :vibes:

Now go get'em tiger... :love07:

[jenvencop]

True confidence is important. I think a sense of humor is also a big one in my book. You can have all the looks in the world, but if your attitude stinks girls will lose interest. I have guys who were good looking and they kept my attention until they spoke. Then there was average looking guys I have met that had incredible personalities and thats what kept me interested and attracted to them. Remember who you are will never fade, but looks will change. So having the confidence in who you are will show and grab the attention of many women. You said that your female friends say "how are you still single" well it sounds like your already there. And another word of advice is that I can honestly say I have never met anyone interested in a meaningful relationship in a bar or club. I've had two serious relationships in my past, my high school sweetheart I met through a friend and my exfiance I met at the job I had before the military. And I have partied plenty and not once have I met someone in those types of places. Also there are tons of things(little things) that grabs womens attentions, feel free to ask away:)

[hrtlessbabe]

Heres my advice....never look for anything or anyone, b/c you'll never find it. Just enjoy life and relax , it will hit you unexpectedly.

Also...Please DO NOT HID ON WOMAN when that are :
a) w/ their kid(s), happen to me at the grocery store last week.
b) Have a ring on their, Also happen to me too
c) just split up, aka you're a rebound

If you're single...and have alot of free time, go to the beach and relax there or do something that you like to enjoy..maybe you'll meet her there and have the same interest.

Let me know how things work out~Hrtlessbabe

[ToeFur]

Yea..thats one thing that I need to work on...my confidence. I think it may all come down to that. I dont like to think that my attitude sucks, but maybe it does. Its just that Ive been through so much **** in the past with my ex that part of me is afraid that things will end up the same way. I was totally devastated when things went south. I guess its just a hang up but, I NEED too get over it.
Oh..and BTW thanks for the Advise you guys:grouphug: lol...this emoticon is great...lmao

[jenvencop]

I know it's hard to let go of old skeletons, but you have to. As you know with every experience in life you grow and become wiser, try not to look at the bad stuff in a negative light. If it weren't for all the bad things I have experienced so far in my life I wouldn't be who I am today. Also time will heal old wounds, but I'm sure you have heard that before.

[ToeFur]

Thank you for the advise........