Cupid
February 7th, 2004, 03:50 PM
Essentials of Long-Lasting Relationships
I've nailed down the important things in any relationship (whether friendship or more...).
(1) Commitment
Needs no explanation.
Well, I think it's one of those things you may not understand until it's tested. Seeing what people do rather than what they say best discovers character things. Perhaps it might help to have a commitment to continuous renewal of the relationship.
(2) Communication
We talk about our feelings and our opinions, including about problems we might have--we know we aren't mind readers.
I believe a lot of this is being willing and able to understand the other person's perspective.
(3) Compatibility
We got to have *some* things in common, esp. the major things, like values, kids, etc.
The more deep rooted it is, the more it should be compatible. For instance, the fundamental values of people's lives (the things that make it worthwhile, the things they wake up for in the morning) should be compatible.
(4) Cooperation
Translation: Give-and-take.
I think each person should be willing to give in about 80% of the time, because during various years, that's what each person will be doing.
(5) Sex
Sex is the superglue of marriage!
There is nothing that replaces it for expressing total love and also for making up with someone that is driving you crazy. Sometimes sitting around "talking about THE RELATIONSHIP" is a crashing bore.
Doing something about it in a non-verbal form is never boring.
I've nailed down the important things in any relationship (whether friendship or more...).
(1) Commitment
Needs no explanation.
Well, I think it's one of those things you may not understand until it's tested. Seeing what people do rather than what they say best discovers character things. Perhaps it might help to have a commitment to continuous renewal of the relationship.
(2) Communication
We talk about our feelings and our opinions, including about problems we might have--we know we aren't mind readers.
I believe a lot of this is being willing and able to understand the other person's perspective.
(3) Compatibility
We got to have *some* things in common, esp. the major things, like values, kids, etc.
The more deep rooted it is, the more it should be compatible. For instance, the fundamental values of people's lives (the things that make it worthwhile, the things they wake up for in the morning) should be compatible.
(4) Cooperation
Translation: Give-and-take.
I think each person should be willing to give in about 80% of the time, because during various years, that's what each person will be doing.
(5) Sex
Sex is the superglue of marriage!
There is nothing that replaces it for expressing total love and also for making up with someone that is driving you crazy. Sometimes sitting around "talking about THE RELATIONSHIP" is a crashing bore.
Doing something about it in a non-verbal form is never boring.