Cupid
February 7th, 2004, 11:54 PM
Why do so many relationships end?
Mating dances are very vivid. We all do it. Deliberately or not. But my dance has never included any deliberate aloofness. That is counterproductive!
Why do so many relationships end? Because the challenge is lost for one or the other party. One person gets bored.
If that is what you believe, fine. There are as many reasons why relationships end as there is relationships. Some can be quite complicated.
Yes. I've never been called "not a challenge" so I'm having trouble relating/understanding/comprehending any of this battle of the wills stuff.
We want what we can't have
When one person starts to become bored, the tendency is to distance themselves emotionally and/or physically.
Being bored is one reason.
- A few others are:
- Infidelity
- sexual dsyfunction
- health problems
Yes. And lets not forget:
- honesty to a fault (brutally blunt)
- dishonesty
- interference from outside influences (family, friends)
- dislikes the person once they discover more
- etc.
plus... people change!
Attractiveness is involved initially
Some people also take comfort in a person | being predictable and dependable.
Yes. "Take comfort". It doesn't generate feelings of love though.
Neither does being aloof. If you love someone for being aloof, you are going to have problems in the relationship.
A similar analogy: If you work a job that is "challenging", it most likely provides opportunities for creativity, problem solving, and an opportunity to utilize some skill set.
But if in that job you had to fight for every moment of peace, constantly be in "defense mode" due to an overbearing boss, and, on a daily basis, the onus is placed on you to come up with entertainment/stimulus for the rest of the employees, that type of "challenge" would be distressing.
Ever heard the expression: we want what we can't have?
It goes with: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
Critical factor in a relationship as it progresses
Attractiveness is involved initially. But it isn't as important further down the line. It is always important.
Maybe not the most critical factor in a relationship as it progresses and the bond has formed. But maintaining your appeal/lust to your mate is a way to show him that you don't take him for granted and you want to be desireable to him -- and this works both ways.
Mating dances are very vivid. We all do it. Deliberately or not. But my dance has never included any deliberate aloofness. That is counterproductive!
Why do so many relationships end? Because the challenge is lost for one or the other party. One person gets bored.
If that is what you believe, fine. There are as many reasons why relationships end as there is relationships. Some can be quite complicated.
Yes. I've never been called "not a challenge" so I'm having trouble relating/understanding/comprehending any of this battle of the wills stuff.
We want what we can't have
When one person starts to become bored, the tendency is to distance themselves emotionally and/or physically.
Being bored is one reason.
- A few others are:
- Infidelity
- sexual dsyfunction
- health problems
Yes. And lets not forget:
- honesty to a fault (brutally blunt)
- dishonesty
- interference from outside influences (family, friends)
- dislikes the person once they discover more
- etc.
plus... people change!
Attractiveness is involved initially
Some people also take comfort in a person | being predictable and dependable.
Yes. "Take comfort". It doesn't generate feelings of love though.
Neither does being aloof. If you love someone for being aloof, you are going to have problems in the relationship.
A similar analogy: If you work a job that is "challenging", it most likely provides opportunities for creativity, problem solving, and an opportunity to utilize some skill set.
But if in that job you had to fight for every moment of peace, constantly be in "defense mode" due to an overbearing boss, and, on a daily basis, the onus is placed on you to come up with entertainment/stimulus for the rest of the employees, that type of "challenge" would be distressing.
Ever heard the expression: we want what we can't have?
It goes with: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
Critical factor in a relationship as it progresses
Attractiveness is involved initially. But it isn't as important further down the line. It is always important.
Maybe not the most critical factor in a relationship as it progresses and the bond has formed. But maintaining your appeal/lust to your mate is a way to show him that you don't take him for granted and you want to be desireable to him -- and this works both ways.