We would all love to believe that everything is perfect and that we are always happy, but then we wouldn’t be living in the real world. There are times where all people, even the best people, people that you think don’t have an angry bone in there body, can get angry. Anger is a very powerful and expressive emotion, and until now, it has been a common misunderstanding that “letting it out” was the best way to relieve you of anger. Here are some wonderful alternatives to dealing with your “Incredible Hulk” side!
• “Zen Mode:” The most common sense technique (I am talking about relaxation), but most under used. Try taking deep breaths counting from 1-10 on the inhale, holding your breath for another count of 10, and then a count of 10 on the exhale. Do this several times, and you will start to feel relief. Couple that with a good relaxation phrase or word, such as “relax” or “calm.” You can also add calming imagery (waterfalls, trees, and sand) or soothing relaxation music. The key is to use these techniques the second you feel your anger starting to accelerate to an uncomfortable level.
• Changing your mindset: When we get angry we start to use hateful language, curse words, and negative imagery and thoughts. We start to immediately blame ourselves or others; but what we need to do is to change our mindset. Instead of looking for someone to blame, look for a solution. Tell yourself that you can figure it out instead of “there is nothing I can do!” “Talk yourself down” so to speak, and take a more understanding and supportive stand. Changing your environment can also help to change your mindset.
• Better Communication: Ahhh… this is the root to all misunderstandings, confrontations, and causes for getting angry. When in the heat of the moment, it is at that instant that you should focus on what you would really like to express in the calmest, most supportive and positive light you can. When angry, we throw everything but the kitchen sink, but none of what we throw addresses or resolves the issue. No blaming, angry, frustrated, or resenting words and tones. Instead… supportive, precise, and caring words and tones are more effective, can curb escalating anger, and can be a productive way towards resolution.
• Humor: The healing power of laughter can not only help you to avoid unnecessary stress and anger, but can help you to see the “big picture” and realize that everything isn’t as bad as it seems. I try to make fun of myself when something gets me angry; it helps me to get perspective and eventually see the light within my angry little dark cloud. Sometimes I will purposefully throw on a comedy or do some type of activity I like to make me smile again. For instance I know that when I tickle my son and he laughs, all my anger melts away. How about that, doing something good for someone else makes me feel better! Another future article perhaps!
Life is full of people, situations, and events that will make you angry… there’s no avoiding it. But we can always do something about how we will let it affect us. Most of all, take the message that anger gives you, but don’t let it control you. Remember that you are in control, and can always do something to help turn your frown upside down!