(Long Island, NY) I read strange things in the headlines lately. In the laugh out loud department: Soon to be Ex-President George Bush was quoted as saying people “mis-underestimated” him. That noise you just heard is the collective sighing of hundreds of NYC comedy writers who know their days of easy material are coming to an end. Barack Obama doesn’t talk in idiot-speak.
But every time I am tempted to lash out in print about the man who Hunter S. Thompson derided as the “goofy child-president”, I have to remember that a frightening majority elected him back for a second go-round—at least it appears that way if you look at the 2004 election map of the USA. According to CNN.com’s Election 2004 results, it certainly appears that a staggering majority spoke out against Kerry and for Bush. One of the few Midwestern states to vote against Bush? Illinois, the same place Barack Obama is from. Not that this little factoid MEANS anything, mind you.
When you look at the actual NUMBERS of the 2004 election, it turns out that perhaps Americans weren’t as overwhelmingly in favor of the Man Who Should Be Using Monosyllables. The numbers say Kerry took 48% of the vote. That’s not exactly an overwhelming, tail-between-the-legs defeat. Obama’s 52.9% to McCain’s 47.5% was far more decisive in terms of the popular vote. There’s no “misunderestimating” that one.
Back to the outgoing child-president.
There have been plenty of shocking developments in the Bush years. Watching Colin Powell suck it up, go to the U.N. and swear that there were weapons of mass destruction in Iraq was one of the most agonizing things I’ve had the misfortune to witness on television. He had the look of a man who was clearly following orders–no more, no less. But what could be more startling that the admission from Bush’s own mouth that landing on an aircraft carrier and announcing “Mission accomplished” was a mistake?
No kidding, George. Did you think that one up all by yourself?
I spent nearly 14 years in the Air Force. I was not a high-ranking officer, an intelligence expert, or a war planner. I was just a reporter. But even I could have told our Commander-In-Chief that pulling THAT stunt was a bad idea. Let’s see if I have the facts straight–Bush, the man accused to dodging his National Guard duties, hopped into a jet and landed on a Navy aircraft carrier to tell the troops it was all over but the shouting, even as IEDs were blowing people up day in and day out? If that’s mission accomplished, I’ll sit out the next war, savvy?
This is my last real chance to take potshots at Bush while he still commands the Death Star, er, holds the reigns of power, so I want to make myself perfectly clear. Up until now, most people I know consider Richard Nixon to be our worst president. At least the worst of the modern age. After all, Nixon believed that if the President did it, it wasn’t wrong–no matter what IT was. But I suggest that Bush is far worse than Nixon for a much different reason.
Nixon, for all his faults, had a vision. He took ACTION. When he wanted something to happen, he set the wheels in motion. Right or wrong, for better or worse, Nixon took action and committed himself to it. Do I agree with the DIRECTION Nixon took? Hell no. But you have to admire the clarity of vision, the sense of purpose, the urgency of action when he put a plan in motion, whether it was to go to China or to have his enemies list harassed and illegally intimidated. As sick and wrong as it was, Nixon’s enemies list showed a real determination to WIN.
Compare that with the utter helplessness of Bush in the face of Hurricane Katrina, of “Mission Accomplished”, or the economic tailspin that he helped create. Compared to Nixon, Bush’s buttery-fisted handling of every major crisis during his tenure looks even worse. At his worst, when cornered Nixon knew to give up and resign. He even had the guts to throw in the towel and admit defeat when it was clear that the game was over.
Can you see Bush pausing for a deep breath before taking his medicine? Hell no. Just more excuses, more blame shifting, more passive-aggressive avoidance of the truth. Stand Nixon and Bush together and you won’t see two equals;you’ll see a deeply flawed, wrongheaded man defeated by his own hubris, and one Raggedy Andy doll with a republican tie and a teleprompter.
And that’s it. I’ve taken my last shot at George Bush. A man who can’t even live up to Nixon’s legacy now slinks out of office and into history as quite possibly the finest example of spineless ineptitude one-one in possession of an electric light has ever seen. So long, George. In the next life, I hope you come back as a Detroit auto worker underwater on a sub-prime mortgage and a 20 year old son in the Marines. It would only serve you right.
