(Long Island, N.Y.) Just thought I’d spread the good word! They say a good man is hard to find but finding a good massage therapist can be even harder. Everywhere you turn here on Long Island it seems there’s a salon or spa with a pricey menu chock full of treatments to cure what ails you.

I’ve shelled out lots of money for less-than-stellar sessions. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like part of a massage assembly line. They rush you in, rush you out and I’ve actually walked out of some pretty swanky salons feeling more stressed than when I walked in. Yep, the hunt for a good—skilled—massage therapist is no easy task.

What makes a great one? Sure, it’s all begins with training and experience but I believe it goes a bit deeper than that: It’s about heart, a passion for your profession, loving what you do and a real compassion for your clients. If you’re looking for one of the best massage therapists on Long Island– Gina Mineo, LMT is a gem!

One thing that first struck me about Mineo—was when I was just booking the appointment. I casually mentioned on the phone that I wasn’t feeling well and instead of sealing the deal, scoring a sale and getting me to come in right away, she advised me to wait and call her when I was feeling better. She then backed that up with lots of solid advice on what I should be doing to get well and spent a great deal of time going down a quick list of ways I can help my body heal. I couldn’t help but be taken back by her sincerity and knew right then and there—I finally found a Long Island massage therapist that really cares for her clients. (I really was surprised by her concern for my cold, to say the least. My own mom an hour earlier just told me to suck it up and take some Sudafed!)

Weeks later I chatted with Mineo to learn more about the woman behind the healing hands. My first question: What made you want to become a massage therapist in the first place? “I love that question,” says Mineo. “It was a journey for me. I started out with a master’s degree on clinical counseling and psychology and I went into the whole clinical aspect and loved it, but I put myself through college working in a physical therapy practice and I fell in love with how the clients felt after getting a massage versus all the other stuff they do in PT. I started getting massages myself at a very young age and I just had a respect for it.”

As she started getting her career going in the corporate end of healthcare, she turned around and thought; this isn’t for me. Perhaps she recognized her true calling. “I wanted to do something where I can give something—right away,” says Mineo. “I went back to school for massage thinking it would like a hobby and very, very quickly in school I threw it all up in the air and decided to open my own practice.” She went to Greenwich, Connecticut and had a successful practice for about four years. Then after she had a baby Mineo decided to come back home to Long Island and start a new practice. As she puts it—“I’ve come home.”

We also chatted about what it’s like to help heal people for a living. “I find that people who come to me once a week are never sick. And people who come in once a month are rarely sick.” She says that part of really helping people makes her feel like she gets an immediate paycheck and a major fringe benefit. For her, a day’s work is filled with a plethora of positives. “No one ever comes in saying how they really hate it or don’t want to be there. It’s all positive energy—positive and wonderful. You’re giving back very quickly and you get the thank you’s.”

And she admits all these positives—not only for her clients but for herself as well. “It’s a privilege to work on people this way and help them get rid of their pain. We do it all. There’s a lot of pathology in massage, too. People come in with sciatica, pregnant women come in and their back is killing them and they can’t move.” Mineo also has worked on a great deal of professional athletes so she knows all about sports injuries and how to help them.

I make no bone about it–I’m a big fan of getting regular massages and really do feel it’s money very well spent! But I never really understood—or asked—what real benefits I’m getting out of my investment. Mineo says there are many. The skin, for circulation, is a big one. “The whole idea of massage is bring blood to the muscles so we get in there, move blood around and we’re mimicking a form of exercise,” she explains. You’re working the muscular and skeletal system.

So why are people who get regular massages rarely sick? “We’re working the immune system. The only way to work your lymphatic system (which is your immune system) is if you jump on a trampoline, jog or get a massage because the lymphatic system is in the torso.” She notes a lot of people who come in for a regular massage have issues with allergies and she helps ease the condition by using essential oils. In a few weeks some of her clients are even off the allergy medicine and say they no longer need it.

Yet Mineo makes it crystal clear: “We’re not curing anything. We just help prevent.” Massage therapy is a preventive (and alternative) form of medicine, not to mention an ancient one. It’s the first form of medicine in the world. She also said something I never even thought of—massage is instinctual. If you bump your knee, what the first thing you do? Massage it. And don’t forget, a good massage will help you sleep better and can relieve stress. The list of benefits goes on and on…

There’s no question, a good massage can improve your overall health. Don’t look at it like it’s a luxury—it’s a necessity. And if money’s an issue, Mineo says some are delightfully surprised. There’s many insurance companies that are taking massage very seriously. You just might be covered.

Gina Mineo is licensed in two states and nationally certified. In her Huntington studio you won’t get a cookie-cutter routine—you’ll get what you need: healing with a heart. To learn about her and her services (she also does outcalls in the surrounding areas) check out www.massage-studio.net

(Long Island, N.Y.) I never really considered myself “green”. We do recycle and try to do our share but I still feel there’s many more ways I can do my part to be kinder and gentler to the earth. And what better day than “earth day” to try and learn as much as I can about living a greener lifestyle. When my five-year old son asked me to rinse out his yogurt cup so he can toss it into the recycling bin, I knew I was off to a good start in teaching my kids to make the right choices. But there’s still plenty of ways I can change and I’m on the hunt to learn all about greener choices.

When I read that disposable diapers are the third largest item in landfills, I wasn’t surprised. After two kids, I probably amassed a heaping pile of waste a mile high. I can’t even begin to count how many—and that’s just my family! National statistics: some 18-20 billion diapers are tossed away. Out of sight out of mind? Not exactly. But what’s the alternative?

Mom of three, Stephanee Gambino knows first hand about a better choice for baby: cloth diapers. Not only is she an RN, she owns and operates Clothbabies.com (www.clothbabies.com) and she took the time to fill me in on all the things I wanted to know about cloth diapers—but was afraid to ask. Yep, I said afraid because when a mother at the park mentioned to me she uses cloth diapers, I thought, no way on earth would I do that. Yet I’m ready to reconsider, thanks to Stephanee’s advice.

So, can you tell me a few great things about cloth diapers? First–why? Any compelling reasons you believe moms should consider about choosing cloth diapers?

Cloth diapers have really come a long way. You can still get the kind our mothers and grandmothers used… the flat prefolds with pins and a cover – they remain great diapers, and are the easiest on your pocket book. But what our mothers didn’t have were choices! And now there are so many choices! All-in-ones, pocket diapers, fitted diapers, diaper covers… you name it. A rainbow of colors, really cute prints, and a multitude of fabrics! If that’s not enough of a reason to use cloth, think about the environment.

Millions and millions of diapers go into landfills each year (and millions of tons of human waste! Eww!). And the chemicals that are put next to your baby’s sensitive skin! Sodium polyacrylate is the little absorbent beads in disposable diapers. Not only do they absorb your baby’s urine, it also pulls moisture from your baby’s skin! Cloth diapers are made from a variety of fabrics, including cotton, fleece, and wool. No chemicals next to baby’s skin – just soft fabrics! And the cost savings – disposables cost at least $1000 a year. Depending on the system you use and the number of diapers you buy, cloth diapers can cost anywhere from $100 -$150/yr and up. And when you’re finished with them, there is a huge market for used diapers.

You can get at least 30-50% of your purchase price back, depending on the shape of your diapers. So once you have finished saving the environment with your cloth diapers, someone else can continue to save the environment!

You didn’t use cloth diapers on your older kids…why the change of heart?

I had my first child 15.5 years ago. Back then the internet wasn’t around the way it is now. So any information you obtain is word of mouth, reading books, or seeing the product in a store. Word of mouth in the early 90’s was “cloth diapers are too much work”, “cloth diapers? Ewww!” and “disposables are so easy!”. Books often had outdated information. And no one I knew cloth diapered, so finding and buying cloth diapers was difficult because I just had no idea where to start.

Fast forward to the present. There is a plethora of information at our fingertips. You can find information on anything with just a couple clicks of your mouse. With parenting websites, message boards and email groups, you “meet” people from all over the country. The typical conversations always come up – breastfeeding, delivery options, diapering, parenting methods, etc. Many of my online friends used cloth diapers, so the information was right there. I started asking some questions, talked to my husband about it, did some research… and bought my first cloth diaper when my older son was about 5 months old. By the time he was 6 months old, he was fully cloth diapered and never wore another disposable diaper. My youngest has been cloth diapered since birth.

Even in the hospital he wore his cloth diapers. It’s never too late to start cloth diapering. I have many customers who start cloth diapering when their babies’ are 2 years old! Everyone, including myself, starts out knowing nothing about cloth diapers. But there is so much information available online. I have many customers email me or call me, asking me how and where to start. I love being able to teach people about cloth diapers, and converting people from disposable to cloth!

Do you think moms just don’t know too much about this diapering method…and if so why do you believe that’s so? (Big business: disposable diapers?)

Yes, definitely disposable diapers are running the market. Something like 5% of families cloth diaper. Small WAHM businesses can’t compete with million dollar companies and their advertising. So we rely on word of mouth. Unfortunately, a lot of the word of mouth comes from moms who used cloth diapers 20+ years ago and know nothing about how easy cloth diapers are these days. The “green” movement is definitely helping our cause. But we still have a long way to go!

Well, I’m clueless. How do you get started? What do you do with the…what happens after….

First, let me explain the different types of diapers. There are the “old fashioned” prefolds with a cover. There are AIO’s (all-in-ones) that are one piece – absorbent inner with waterproof outer. There are fitted diapers, which is like an AIO, but the outer is not waterproof, so it requires a cover. And lastly, there are pocket diapers. It’s basically a waterproof outer layer with a fleece (or other type of material) inner. There is an opening in the back where you can stuff it with an insert of your choosing.

Many cloth diapering families use more than one type of diaper – your “stash” can consist of a few pockets, a few AIO’s, a couple fitted and a bunch of preforms with various types of covers. You need a place to store your diapers when they’re clean, and a place to put them when they’re dirty. Next, you use them…. This is the easiest part… you put a diaper on your baby, just as you would a disposable. When your baby is wet, you change him/her. Now here come the differences. Once the diaper is wet/dirty (we’ll talk about poop in a minute) you put the diaper in a diaper pail (lined with a washable diaper pail liner) and close the lid. There are tons of products on the market to help reduce odors. Keep the pail dry – wet pails are a thing of the past. , and every few days you do a load of diapers.

Depending on how many diapers you own, you can do a load of diapers every day, or once or twice a week (I am lazy and have A LOT of diapers, so I wash once a week). Now, back to the poop. Before the baby is on solids, the poop is watery and hard to rinse off. I just wash the diapers as is. Once solids start, the poop is smelly, and has more consistency. There are a couple choices. Flushable, biodegradable liners or a diaper sprayer. I use a diaper sprayer. It connects to the toilet’s water source, and you just spray the poop off the diaper, wring it out a little, and put it in your diaper pail. Liners are even easier… place one on the diaper between the diaper and baby.

If baby poops, take the soiled liner and flush it down the toilet. Then wash your diapers as usual. To wash your diapers, you will generally do a cold wash with laundry soap (only about a quarter of what you use for clothes) to rinse the diapers and prevent stains (hot water will set stains), followed by a hot wash and rinse, and I always follow it up with at least one more rinse to make sure all the suds are gone. (You never use bleach, baby laundry detergent, or fabric softeners on your diapers) Dry them in your dryer (no dryer sheets), and voila, they’re ready to use again. And a little trick to deal with stains (which I rarely ever have) is to put your diapers out in the sun. An hour of sunshine will bleach out your stains. It works with most any stain… not just for diapers.

Anything you’d like to tell moms about how easy it is? Is it affordable? More comfortable for your baby?

Cloth diapering can save you a ton of money compared to disposables. But you can also end up spending a lot of money… it’s very addicting once you start! I often recommend buying used if you have no idea what kind of system will work for you. Many stores offer layaway (mine included). If money is an issue, buy a couple diapers each payday. Within a couple months you will have a nice stash going. It can be a lot of money to start up, so start buying or start your layaway when you’re pregnant… by the time baby is born you have your stash all ready!

For families that have never seen a cloth diaper, many stores offer in-home demonstrations, or offer classes on cloth diapering. You get to touch and feel and see with your own two eyes just how easy cloth diapering is.

Sometimes I feel if I take another trip to the grocery store, I’m going to scream. Then when I look at how much we spent in a month on bread, milk, eggs and a zillion other items–I feel faint. Seems like I spend most of my time wandering up and down the isles hunting for new snacks to pack for the kids’ lunch. And taking them with me on my weekly excursion is no picnic. I land out spending way more than necessary as I throw items to keep them quiet. DVD’s, books, toys, whatever it takes to keep them calm and happy in their car cart.

So, no wonder our grocery bills have been through the roof. I thought it was just me. I’m a self-confessed impulse buyer and if the label boasts it’s “new and improved”, then I’ve got to try it. But according to a recent Newswise release, we aren’t the only family that’s got high grocery bills taking too big a bite of the monthly budget.

“The U.S. Department of Labor estimates that the average American family of four spends $8,513 per year on groceries. That averages out to $709 per month.

Worse, food prices rose 4 percent in the United States last year and are expected to climb as much again this year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.”

Yikes. Even when I have to just run in for “a few things”, somehow, I’m almost a $100 in the hole. Do we really need six open boxes of cereal, four flavors of granola bars and a ten ton tub of peanut butter from The Price Club? I think not. Clearly, I need a grocery shopping intervention.

So how do you curb your spending at the grocery store? Sissy Osteen, Oklahoma State University Cooperative Extension resource management specialist, offers these helpful tips. (Which I am going to print and keep in my wallet!)

• Shop less. Make a big trip once or twice a month. She says the fewer times you’re in the store, the less opportunity you’ll have for impulse buying. (Research indicates that consumers making a ‘quick trip’ to the store end up spending 54 percent more than they intended.)

A consumer who goes to the store three times per week and spends $10 on impulse purchases each trip will end up spending an additional $120 per month. By going to the store just once per week, consumers will spend only $40 per month on these purchases; shopping once per month results in only $10 spent on impulse items. The shop-less save-more strategy can save families nearly $1,000 per year.

• Nix the name brands: Shoppers can easily shave several dollars from their grocery bill by purchasing generic or store brand products over national brand items.

Everything from cereal and frozen vegetables to canned goods and prescription drugs is available under a generic or store brand label. You can save from a few cents to a couple of dollars per item. The savings can quickly add up.

• Compare prices: If there are a number of grocery stores in your area, compare the weekly sales ads and plan menus accordingly. Look for cheaper cuts of meat. Chicken thighs and legs cost less than chicken breasts.

• Clip coupon: Coupons also can be a good way to save money. Many stores will double coupons up to a dollar. Be sure to compare the discounted price to the price of a store-brand product.Even with a coupon, you may be better off buying the store brand.

• Make a list: When it comes to shopping, make a list and stick to it. Plan the week’s meals and snacks and jot down everything needed for each meal. If possible, shop without your children so you are not tempted to give into pressure from youngsters for an extra treat or toy that is not on the list.

• Can the coffee: Many consumers stop by a coffee shop on their way to work for a latte or cappuccino. This $4-per-day habit can easily add up to more than $1,000 per year.

(Long Island, N.Y.) Alright. Now I’m really confused. I remember a while ago hearing news reports that cold and cough medication was not safe for children under 2. Got that. It’s perfectly clear. But in case you didn’t, recently, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued an advisory strongly recommending that over-the-counter cough and cold medications not be given to infants and children under two years old because of the risk of life-threatening side effects.

I got a zillion “Must-read. Cold medication warnings” fwds from some of my fwd-happy friends when that went out over the news wires. I responded to a few, “Phew, thanks for the info!”. But really, it was on the news, all day. and I usually zap all Fwd emails with the delete button–even if it says, don’t delete. In fact, faster if it says don’t delete.

So, when my son (age 5) was coughing up a storm an hour before bedtime, I thought it would be safe to give him the recommended dose and let him get some rest. I’m always very careful about reading the directions and giving the kids the proper dose, so I plopped myself on the couch, kicked my feet up and began to doze off.

Then I heard a quick little blurb on the news that cough medicine isn’t safe for kids–under 11. Huh? I immediately felt a bit worried but I know some news segments are meant to perk you up and put some good old fashion fear in your heart. I was concerned–but more confused. I just gave my sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-head son some night-time cough medicine, so I knew I had to get to the bottom of this and get the facts.

Because I missed most of what was reported on the news, I hunted around to find the source of their information and went to the American Academy of Pediatrics http://www.aap.org — and there it was: in the February issue of Pediatrics were the results of a new study that parents should know about: An estimated 7,000 patients, ages 11 and younger, are treated in hospital emergency departments each year largely from unsupervised ingestion of cough and cold medications.

Alrighty then. My mini-panic attack was over. It said: “unsupervised ingestion” so I knew there was nothing to worry about. I was cautious and measured correctly. And I always keep the medications way out of their reach (even mine). Oops! Not so fast. The more I read up on cough and cold medication for kids, the more I questioned myself. I mean, it’s sold right there in CVS, why wouldn’t it be safe? Then again, rat poison is sold there, too. But the bottle says it’s made for kids. It’s got a cute color to the packaging and boasts it tastes like cherries. So therein lies my confusion again. So I started to Google the terms: cough medicine children. 535,000 hits came up but this one caught my eye immediately: On Parenting: Cough Medicine Isn’t for Kids – US News and World Report

I eagerly clicked. It was posted October 10, 2007 and the writer, Nancy Shute opens the article with:

“I confess: I drugged my kid. My intentions were good; she had a cough and needed to sleep. Surely a spoonful of cough medicine would be a mercy. My 4-year-old slurped up the grape-flavored syrup and trotted off to bed. Good mommy? Hardly.”

Boy, did she hit the nail on the head. I felt the same way–that very night, Her article is a must-read, in my opinion. And considering this article was published months ago, I feel horrible for not really paying attention to what’s happening on this front. But now I know better. The next morning, my son was fine and I felt a tiny bit smarter.

Question: I was wondering what your recommendation would be for the best baby shower gift. She’s a first time mom and I want to get her something off her registry and really unique but very helpful. Any ideas?

Answer: You know what, I’m pretty hesitant to recommend any new toys. With all the recalls going around lately, a “Poison-Me-Elmo” might not be the best choice. And sure there’s lots of cool gadgets and gear out there for moms-to-be. But I have a suggestion that is by far, the best gift you can give a new mom. It’s a kit you can buy online: Infant CPR Anytime

According to The American Heart Association, knowing how to perform the relatively simple skills of CPR and relief of choking can make a life or death difference for infants who suffer cardiac arrest or whose airways become blocked by food or objects. They’ve made it easier than ever to learn lifesaving skills with Infant CPR Anytime. The new training program can be used to learn skills that could help save the life of an infant (newborn-12 months).

The kit includes an infant CPR manikin, a 22-minute skills training DVD and two fold-out Quick-Reference Skills Reminders. And what’s really cool is she can keep it for herself or if she already knows CPR, she can gift it to the grandparents, siblings or anyone who might take care of her baby.

Knowing CPR just might save a life. You just might get one heck of a thank you note months later. Why is it so important to learn? The American Heart Association (www.Americanheart.org) has some pretty convincing statistics:

About 75 percent to 80 percent of all out-of-hospital cardiac arrests happen at home, so being trained to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) can mean the difference between life and death for a loved one.

Effective bystander CPR, provided immediately after cardiac arrest, can double a victim’s chance of survival.

CPR helps maintain vital blood flow to the heart and brain and increases the amount of time that an electric shock from a defibrillator can be effective.

Approximately 95 percent of sudden cardiac arrest victims die before reaching the hospital.

Death from sudden cardiac arrest is not inevitable. If more people knew CPR, more lives could be saved.

Brain death starts to occur four to six minutes after someone experiences cardiac arrest if no CPR and defibrillation occurs during that time.

If bystander CPR is not provided, a sudden cardiac arrest victim’s chances of survival fall 7 percent to 10 percent for every minute of delay until defibrillation. Few attempts at resuscitation are successful if CPR and defibrillation are not provided within minutes of collapse.

(Long Island, N.Y.) Every New Year, I play along with the status quo and make that silly list of stock resolutions: Eat better, exercise more, be a better person, blah, blah, blah. But you know what? All those wonderful things I planned to do– just don’t get done. So this year, I decided to try another trick to help me make some much needed improvements in the coming year. I’m going to mix it up and put a whole new twist on my New Year’s resolutions: a handy-dandy, detailed To Do(N’T) list.

Here’s some of the things I resolve NOT to do in 2008:

1. Go to the grocery store unknowingly sporting two different color socks. (Not even close.)
2. Eat three 100 Calorie Snack Packs in one sitting. (Now really, who am I kidding?)
3. Tell my husband the grocery store didn’t have hot sauce and I guess they were out for some reason. (Ok, fine. FINE. I forgot.)
4. Get mad at my husband for drowning the food I cook with hot sauce. (Why not just eat hot sauce a la carte and save me the trouble?)
5. Get mad at my husband for getting mad at me because I got mad that he put hot sauce all over his dinner. (Follow me here.)
6. Whisper in my son’s ear that daddy said he really wanted to take them to the park. (It’s always news to him.)
7. Whisper in my daughter’s ear “Tell daddy you really, really want to go to Friendly’s again. (Cool. Since it’s her idea, I don’t have to cook tonight.)
8. Order something described as “smothered” on a menu twice in one week. (Isn’t anything smothered just sinfully delicious?)
9. Watch another season of “I Love NY” (Watched season 1 and 2.)
10. Get caught eating whipped cream straight from the can at night. (I said “caught”!)
11. Tell my kids that “The Man” will be mad and come yell at them if they act up in the restaurant. (Yep, the dreaded “Man” strikes again.)
12. Get off the phone with my mother and not remembered to a word she said. (That was my mother, right?)
13. Throw a handful of M&M’s on the floor and let me kids hunt around and eat them just to buy myself a few quiet/questionless minutes to answer an important call. (At 10 am.)
14. Drag out the vacuum cleaner and display tons of cleansing products out on the counter to make it look like I was cleaning all day. (Practice exhausted, over-worked look in the mirror.)
15. Tell my kids that some websites close on the weekends so they don’t bug me to use the computer. (Their websites are also closed on holidays/after 6pm and are subject to the amount of patience I’ve got that hour.)
16. Tell my kids the gummy bear I just popped in my mouth is “Medicine. Yuckies.” (But there were only 2 left!)
17. Polish off a box of Nutter Butter Bites and blame it on the kids. (Well, technically, they did eat a few.)
18. Buy a pair of designer stilettos at Bloomingdale’s without even looking at the price tag. (Nearly faint when I take a peek at the receipt I just signed as I’m walking out the door.)
19. Hang up mid-sentence on a long-winded friend and blame it on my bad cell phone connection. (Sorry, Michelle!)
20. Pretend I have stomach pains right before it’s time to take the kids to the dentist. (Thanks, sympathetic but un-fooled husband.)
21. Authorize a family member to buy Moon Sand for my son for Christmas. (The stuff is a total time-wasting mess-maker.)
22. Use the remaining balance of a gift card for the kids—on myself. (It was just a pair of earrings…really.)
23. Take the batteries out of noisy toys and say it’s broken. (Never, ever buy a walkie-talkie that has a beep so loud—it makes your ears bleed.)
24. Buy a pair of J-Lo jeans. (I think I was 10+ years out of their demographics 5 years ago!)
25. Skip entire paragraphs while reading a book to my kids just to make it go faster. (My 4-year-old snags me every time.)
26. Throw away an old casserole dish sitting in the back of the fridge rather than cleaning it out. (Green meatloaf was not a special dish for St. Patty’s Day.)
27. Convince myself I’d have more energy if I didn’t work out. (It’s quite the opposite—and I know it.)
28. Think jealous thoughts about the fact that my husband’s meatballs are way better than mine. (I make a mean sauce—so there.)
29. Let my kids squander expensive band aids on invisible boo-boos.(Or put them on dolls.)
30. Tell the kids that the Dunkin Donuts drive thru is only serving coffee for mommy and broccoli bits. (Lies, I know. But who wants to hear them plead/cry/beg for donuts when they’ve eaten too many sweet already that day? I don’t. “Sorry guys, they just ran out of Munchkins…but they’ve got broccoli bits. Anyone still hungry?)

(Long Island, N.Y.) This is simply insane. The Associated Press recently reported; flu shots are now mandatory for preschool children in New Jersey. That’s right, mandatory. According to AP:

“New Jersey on Friday became the first state to require flu shots for preschoolers, saying their developing immune systems and likelihood of spreading germs make them as vulnerable to complications as the elderly. State Health Commissioner Dr. Fred M. Jacobs approved the requirement and three other vaccines over the objections of some parent groups. Starting in September, all children attending preschool or licensed day care centers will have to get an annual flu shot, Jacobs said. That makes New Jersey the first state to require flu shots for preschoolers or older students, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.”

Now with two kids in preschool, I find this very troubling. When my pediatrician asked if I wanted to put my daughter (age 3) on the list for a flu shot this year, I declined. Why? Last year she had her first one and I was a bit worried about it. My son (19 months older) never had one and beside the sniffles and a bad cold, he was healthy all year. But I felt a bit pressured and thought the shot for my daughter last year was a good choice. About two weeks after she got it–she was the sickest I’ve EVER seen her–or any of my children. “So much for that flu shot, ” my husband snickered. And I agreed. She got sick a whopping three times after her shot. My son, who goes to the same preschool as her who did not get the shot–healthy as a horse all winter.

So after taking some time to really think about it, I decided, for many reasons, no flu shot this year. And boy would I be ticked if the State of New York suddenly told me I had no choice but to inject her with one if she wanted to attend preschool. I can’t help but think: Are pharmaceutical companies really that powerful?

I’m bothered by this. Very bothered. Now I got all their required vaccinations and have been going along with all the recommendations like a dutiful parent. Yet, I always had hesitations about necessary medicating the kids for any reason. If NY decides to hop on the mandatory flu vaccination requirements–they’ll be a lot of bristling in this neck of the woods here on Long Island. I know many parents who object to these kind of vaccinations—even medical doctors that are still on the fence about how effective they are. I’ll object. Maybe one day I’ll feel our family should be vaccinated. But I certainly don’t want the state to decide that for me.

I grew up in New Jersey and still have tons of friends and family there. Word has it, NJ parents are pissed. Choice words, I know. The news is still being digested and I’ll bet many will be up in arms in the coming months. Keep in mind, kids (and adults) can experience a serious allergic reaction after getting the flu shot. It’s rare, but it does happen. The vaccine is said to be safe for babies and toddlers yet it should be your choice–not a requirement.

OK, Long Island parents. How would you feel if the flu shot was mandatory here? Did I mention I happen to think it’s insane?

(Long Island, N.Y.) I guess I am. Maybe I just have that kind of face. Recently, while waiting on line at the grocery store, a father and his son stood behind me and I heard the dad exclaim, “Great. I forgot the stuff for the salad.” I just quickly glanced his way and as soon as our eyes caught he asked “Would you mind?” and then he sped off towards the produce section telling his boy, “Stay with her, I’ll be right back.”

Although shocked that he so thoughtlessly left his young son with a total stranger, I struck up a conversation with the boy to put him at ease. He told me he was four and that he loved Thomas the Tank Engine. “So does my son,” I said, “he’s four, too!” As I loaded my groceries on the conveyer he started to back away and looked like he was ready to take off. “Stay here, sweetheart,” I said, since suddenly I was in charge of this little boy. I used the same distraction techniques I use on my own kids and gave him the important job of holding the bread for me. After we chit-chatted about trains and what he was going to be for Halloween for a few minutes he then said, “My mommy’s name is Melissa.” I couldn’t help but think: Boy would Melissa be mighty ticked if she knew her husband just left her four-year old with a complete stranger to get stuff for the salad and keep his place on line!

I’d have my husband’s head if I knew he left our kids with anyone and I’d bet his would be on the chopping block, too if his wife knew he did such a downright dumb thing. Dad soon came hurrying back with his arms full of veggies. He looked like a typical frazzled dad, wearing a suit with his tie undone clutching a grocery list. He thanked me profusely and I said no problem–but really, I wanted to grab him and say; “What’s wrong with you? Don’t you watch the news?” But instead I turned to the boy and thanked him for being a great helper. I walked away shaking my head and by the sudden concerned look on his dad’s face– I could tell that it just hit him: That probably wasn’t such a good idea.

As shocking as it is that in this day and age someone would be willing to just leave their child in the care of a stranger, it wasn’t the first time it happened to me. Once, during a day at the races, I commented to a woman that her little girl was adorable. Before I knew it, she asked me if I’d keep an eye on her while she went inside to place her bet. Offering her no more than a confused and reluctant nod, the woman wasted no time, crouched down and said to the girl, “Grandma will be right back. Stay with this lady right here and I’ll be back with some snacks.” Snacks? Stay with ‘this lady’? Was she serious? She never even asked my name.

I could just imagine the mom’s nervousness when grandma asked to take her granddaughter (about five or six years old) to the noisy, over-crowded confusion of The Belmont Stakes. Did she have any idea that grandma would just leave her granddaughter with ‘this lady’ while she placed a $20 bet on Lucky Ducky to win? And I timed her. 11 minutes. She was gone long enough for just about anything to happen. I’d never hurt a fly. Heck, I felt so bad one time when I realized I accidentally swiped a $1 lip liner–I went back to pay for it. I’m as good-hearted and honest as they come but she didn’t know that. Villains don’t hear black hats and don curly mustaches anymore. Wicked people don’t straddle broomsticks and the truly evil don’t advertise their intentions by waving pitchforks. They’re every day, normal looking people like you and me. You just never know.

But maybe it is my face because at the mall when my husband took the kids to the pet store–I escaped to do some “me” shopping and while I headed towards the cosmetic department and a little girl came running towards me out of nowhere and crying, “Ma-ma!” I looked around and realized she was all alone. She thought I was her mommy but as she got closer she looked scared and was babbling something in Spanish. I took her hand and walked with her as she was crying. She was reaching for me to pick her up–probably thinking, you’re not my mommy but you look sweet–I’ll settle for you. Luckily, we quickly ran into a young security guard and I explained the little girl was lost and her mommy probably had long brown hair like mine, because she had mistaken me for her mother. He told us to follow him and as he headed towards the security desk a man came running towards us looking relived and swooped her up in his arms. The young security guard said, “She’s yours?” to the man and he said yes and started walking away with the girl who remained silent and still weeping.

As the two walked off I turned to the security guard and balked: “That’s it?”
“Yep, that’s it ma’am. Thanks for your help. She’s alright.”
“Well, how do you know that was really her dad?”
“Dunno. He said he was.”
“Well, don’t you check? What if it wasn’t? What if that man saw she was lost and lied? She’s so young and she didn’t say a word. You can’t just let them walk off like that. Aren’t there standard procedures for something like this?”

The security guard looked perplexed by my questions but promised to catch up with them and make sure she was in good hands. So much for my stress-free shopping spree. Time was ticking and I had to get back to my own kids. Frankly, I don’t think he did follow up because he looked at me like I was crazy for questioning that man’s claim but in order to keep myself from obsessing about it, I settled my thoughts on: it was her dad and she’s safe.

You would think in light of the awful things you read about and see on the nightly news, people would just be leery of strangers and know that in a spit-second children are snatched and stolen. So next time (I hope there’s not a next time) someone instantly marks me as a kind, trustworthy lady and asks me to watch their kids for just a minute, they just might get an ear-full from this self-confessed alarmist. Do you know what horrible, unthinkable things can happen in those seemingly innocent minutes? One day, ‘this lady’ will be ‘that lady’ and you just might be longing for those few precious minutes back.

(Long Island, N.Y.) The news is perfect timing for me. As I’m considering going under the knife to correct some minor issues that came up after I gave birth to two children, the news headlines are plastered with the dangers of plastic surgery, following the tragic death of Donda West, mother of hip-hop star Kanye West.

While the circumstances surrounding her death are still surfacing, one thing’s for sure: The nation is taking a closer look at these ‘elective’ surgeries and weighing the risks versus rewards. My heart goes out for the West family. Now that the nation’s talking about plastic surgery—I’m looking in the mirror and wondering if my own desires to get some work done should be re-examined.

A 2004 study published in the official medical journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, found that deaths occurring at office-based surgery facilities are rare—less than ¼ percent. More than 400,000 operative procedures in accredited office-based outpatient surgery centers were studied from 2000-2002. Serious complications were infrequent, occurring 1 in 298 cases or 0.34 percent with death occurring 1 in 51,459 cases or 0.0019 percent, which is comparable to the overall risk of such procedures performed in hospital surgery facilities. And a new study presented at the ASPS annual scientific conference in October reported similar findings.

“The death of a patient is always tragic and devastating for all involved, particularly the patient’s family and the medical team,” said Richard D’Amico, MD, ASPS president in a prepared statement. “However, we don’t want to unnecessarily frighten the public. While this situation is rare, the decision to have a plastic surgery procedure is serious. No-risk surgery doesn’t exist.”

It’s a tough decision. Do I take my chances? Roll the dice? Take this news and heed the warnings? There’s just so much more to consider now than how many CC’s or what cup size do I want to be. For me, I not swayed by all the media pressure to be perfect nor do I think bigger breasts or a flatter tummy would suddenly make my life divine. Frankly, I just want to get back to my old self: The way I looked before kids. But now I have a lot of thinking to do. Is it really worth it?
For those who still think the rewards outweigh the risk, ASPS recommends six essential points when considering any plastic surgery procedure:

1. Do your homework: Research the procedure, the benefits and the risks. Go to www.plasticsurgery.org for the latest information on plastic surgery procedures.
2. Have realistic expectations: Ask your plastic surgeon about the benefits and risks of your surgery; discuss your expectations and understand side effects and recovery time.
3. Be informed: Talk to patients who have had your procedure so you know what to expect.
4. Ask tough questions: Consult with your plastic surgeon and discuss your full medical history to determine the most appropriate treatment.
5. Choose an ASPS Member Surgeon: ASPS Member Surgeons are qualified, trained and properly certified. They adhere to a strict code of ethics, receive continuous education and operate only in accredited facilities.
6. Confirm accreditation of outpatient surgery center: If your surgery may take place in an outpatient surgery center, be sure it is accredited. ASPS requires that all members who perform surgery under anesthesia must do so in a facility that meets certain criteria, such as the appropriate accreditation and state licensure.

“It’s one thing to have training, but it’s another to have your competency tested. This is why board-certification by the American Board of Plastic Surgery (ABPS) is so crucial,” said Dr. D’Amico. “As a patient, you should ask yourself, ‘Why wouldn’t this surgeon be board-certified in plastic surgery?’”

All ABPS-certified physicians have:

• Graduated from an accredited medical school;
• Completed at least five years of surgical residency training, usually three years of general surgery and two years of plastic surgery;
• Practiced plastic surgery for two years; and
• Passed comprehensive written and oral examinations covering both the cosmetic and reconstructive areas of the specialty of plastic surgery.

When you watch all the TV shows that depict plastic surgery as “happily-ever-after” only, you can’t help but think, “Hey, why don’t I go in for a few enhancements.” The E! network’s Dr. 90210 takes these complicated procedures and ties them up in a pretty bow. I know first hand that it isn’t always so pretty. I’ve had friends tell me stories…..

Still, I can’t help but wonder if a little nip/tuck would put a spring in my step. But at what cost?

(Long Island, N.Y.) I’m all about the 3 R’s: Reading, Relaxing and Reality TV. Yep, I’ll admit it, I’m a big-time reality show junkie. But when I heard that VH1 was airing a new show for their fall line-up titled: America’s Most Smartest Model, I thought the show sounded, well, DUMB.

I was curious though, so I tuned in to the first episode to see if the new show would make the cut in my fall reality line-up. (My TV card is quite full these days!) The show, hosted by Mary Alice Stephenson (fashion industry insider) and Ben Stein (anyone, anyone?) has models face off in funny competition to find the one whose got the total package: beauty and brains. Each week, one model is sent home or (this is good) “Purged” from the show.

My fear was, the show would just be downright silly and would waste an hour of my time when I could be watching, say, TiVo-ed episodes of The Hills. But America’s Most Smartest Model hooked me! It’s everything you want in reality show: funny, cringe-worth at times and entertaining. I must admit though, one of the reasons I did continue to watch was one of the models on the show: Mandy Lynn. If you watched the show from the beginning, you probably were intrigued by her, too. She’s stunning and has a bubbly, likeable personality that kind of draws you in. I was really rooting for her! It wasn’t until she was purged from the competition, did I realize she was from Long Island (born and raised).

I caught up with Mandy Lynn recently and we chatted about her time on the show. I somehow wasn’t surprised to find her super-sweet, upbeat and well-spoken.

I always wondered how people get on reality shows. How did you find out about this show?

Mandy Lynn: One of the casting directors emailed me. I guess he found me on MySpace. He thought I’d be good for the show. So, I went to NYC to audition (a few of them) and they ended up liking me and I got cast.

I watched some of the casting footage. That was hysterical. Was it a grueling process? I know from my audition days that it can take forever. What was your experience like?

Mandy Lynn: It wasn’t that bad. There were three separate times I had to go in. And each time I went in it was very quick and easy. They just asked me questions—they wanted to get a feel for my personality. And I guess they liked me– I was very funny—and I was cast on the show.

So how did you find out you were chosen? Did they tell you during each audition they might pick you? Did you get calls during the process?

Mandy Lynn: Yeah, I was getting phone calls. It was so exciting. They said “You passed the next round”. Actually, when I went to the casting for it, I wasn’t expecting to really be cast. I was thinking: I love reality shows, let’s see what it would be like going on a casting for one. After I was done, they called me back and said we like you—we’d like you to come in again. So I thought, here we go again. Then after the next time I thought, oh, shoot—this is for real!

That is exciting! What were your thoughts when you realized you made it and would be on the show? Were you freaking out?

Mandy Lynn: I was really nervous. And I was excited, of course. I was ready to go and see what it was all about.

Did they tell you the name of the show before it was taped: America’s Most Smartest Model?

Mandy Lynn: No, they didn’t. They were sneaky like that. All they said—see, that’s the part here…I fall into the Playboy lingerie type—and that’s not exactly what the judges wanted. It said: all types welcome. Bikini, lingerie models welcome. I thought, I qualify—let me go to the casting. So they cast me for the show, then I get there and the lady [Mary Alice] has some type of grudge against me for the type of modeling I do. So it was a little unfair. Also, I did not know that you had to be smart.

They didn’t tell us the name of the show until—I’m not kidding you—2-3 days before I had to fly out there and begin filming. I’m like: America’s Most Smartest Model?? What did I sign up to do? I called up and asked about the title and they said don’t worry, it’s going to be funny. And you’re just going to have to prove that models are smart. So I was already signed in—all done and ready. And when I got there they said everyone here think they are the smartest model and I thought, Oh my God!

I would have been so scared! I’m one to crack under pressure—even the simplest question!

Mandy Lynn: I know—I’m totally the same way and I did that on the show a few times. It’s very hot up there. The room becomes so quiet—they’re waiting for you to answer usually I’m not like that. I’m very cool, calm and collected but I was letting the pressure get to me.

Well, I think you are the “most” smartest model because your personality really came through on the show. After watching the first episode, many of the names I couldn’t remember, but you left a lasting impression.

Mandy Lynn: I am like that in my real life. A lot of people on the show want to be actors and it was a little bit fake but I’m on there—a girl from Long Island—very real. I’m not used to that superficial Hollywood stuff. It was a lot of me and on top of that being thrown into a house with strangers on the other side of the country with cameras. And I got this intimidating, tall, fashion guru telling me to take my make-up off. It was a lot to deal with.

I know they asked you to take the highlights out of your hair. (I’ve had highlights forever and I cringed when you had to dye your hair on the show.) Did you fix your hair when you got back home?

Mandy Lynn: Yes. FIXED is the right word. I liked my hair before. It did not look right after. Yuck. But for the show I wanted to stay so I thought if I did that and show her I was that dedicated…but it wasn’t enough.

You’re going to move on to bigger and better things, I’m sure. I was sad when you were sent home. But there was another model on the show that caught my eye: Andre. He’s still on the show. What was he like?

Mandy Lynn: Actually, I got along with him. I liked Andre a lot. Many times on the show they are showing him fighting with everyone but I shared a room with him. We had some really nice conversations and he would help me and give me advice on what to do to make Mary Alice happy. I liked him but he didn’t get along with everyone else in the house. He actually complimented me a couple of times on the show– during challenges—but they don’t show that either.

I’m curious about what you’ve accomplished before this VH1 show. You’ve done Playboy. How did you get started with that?

Mandy Lynn: They came to a casting in Farmingdale in 2002 and I went to it and was chosen. I modeled for their special edition and I was in over a dozen issues. Three were covers. I also wrote the advice column in Playboy’s Vixens and I was a “CyberGirl”.

So—what’s next for you? What would you like to do?

Mandy Lynn: I hope to do another show. Either on VH1 or another network. I want to continue with TV now, modeling, web design. Pretty much more of the same—just bigger and better!

Did you really design your website yourself? Wow—I’m impressed.

Mandy Lynn: I did. I taught myself web design because I’m so picky. It was necessary for me to do it myself. I can’t keep asking someone else to do it for me so I decided to learn how to do it and take care of it myself. That’s what I did and I’m very proud of that.

If you want to check out Mandy Lynn’s site visit: www.clubmandylynn.com
or check out her Myspace page at: http://www.myspace.com/sexymandylynn